Communication My Arse

Man's hand grabbing mannequin's bum

We all know what a nightmare extreme political correctness can be, stifling debate and making the frank and open discussion of urgent subjects a taboo. However even more annoying are the whining reactionaries who cry “It’s political correctness gone mad” every time they don’t get their own way.

A case in point is Jeremy Irons latest stand over not being allowed to grope women anymore. “Most people are robust. If a man puts his hand on a woman’s bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It’s communication. Can’t we be friendly?”

OK so he’s not actually talking about groping women, but in suggesting that a pat on the bum is as innocuous as a hand shake is going a bit far. If it’s communication, then what exactly is he trying to say? Presumably ‘Hello, I’m a bit of an old perv’. Fine, but then equally would a punch in the face by way of reply be OK? Hey it’s all communication man.

Actually, from what I gather Mr Irons would find such a response relatively acceptable. He is complaining about the possibility of litigation, in other words, ‘can’t the little lady just tell me to piss off without calling the police?’

Just as bad as the ultra-PC brigade this sort of ‘can’t you take a joke?’ crap is oppressive and dangerous. Most women don’t react to being touched up by calling their lawyer. Most women do ‘deal with it’, but there are a few circumstances where that’s just not possible or effective, in which case they have the option to complain. I’m afraid that’s the risk you take when you pat someone’s arse and if you don’t like it may I suggest you keep your mitts to yourself?

It all depends on the context of course- a gesture from an old friend is not the same thing when it comes from your boss, or a stranger in the street, but I cannot agree with the lovely Mr I, a hand on the ass is not innocent, it’s kinda intrusive, and unless you know the recipient extremely well, stick to a handshake. That’s not me being a prude, it’s actually quite obvious, and if the film star Jeremy Irons has found some of his fondling ways aren’t welcome, then imagine how the average middle aged, sweaty executive groping his way round the company is received.

Sorry Jezza it’s not friendly it’s a bit creepy and if you think it’s only feminists who will react badly to your taking a stand for fondlers worldwide, try fiddling with one of those lasses in a burka or tweed-clad Tory wife and see how far that gets you.


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