Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the deed poll office.

Chicken
What did you just call me?

Following your heartfelt responses on my ‘Should I Convert My Son’s Playhouse Into A Chicken Coop?‘ post, I’ve settled on a compromise and I have now converted half of my son’s playhouse into a chicken coop and we’re on the cusp of getting our own chickens. However a familiar dilemma which occurs every time a new living thing swells the household numbers, again rears its head. What to call the darn things.

With babies’ names it’s relatively straight forward. You’re basically looking for something you can live with screaming up the stairs for the next 18 years. Something not too weird, not too boring and something that doesn’t beg to be the first line of a limerick, so Buck, Hank, and Regina are out of the question.

However it’s different with chickens. By virtue of not being especially vulnerable to teasing, and being unlikely to ever have to write their own name, you can pretty much call them anything.

So in an attempt to involve the kids I had the brilliant idea that they have a chicken each and come up with their own names.

After initial enthusiastic suggestions coming from my 3, 5 and 8 year old boys, I quickly realised that this was a terrible idea and I should have kept them out of it.

The oldest wanted to name them after battleships, the middle one after characters from Star Wars and the littlest just made up words.

There will be those amongst you who think I should just go with it if it makes the kids happy and what does it matter what the chickens are called anyway?

Inevitably the kids will get bored with the chickens soon enough. Hell, I can’t think of anything they won’t get bored of pretty quickly before going back to Lego. You might get a couple of hours interest from a life size helicopter, maybe three from a tank, but I reckon if you want to keep them busy for a whole afternoon, you’re going to have to bring home a human corpse.

For the children, I’m pretty sure the chickens will be a fad, and I’ll be the one left calling ‘Princess Amidala’, ‘HMS Invincible’ and ‘Zetatinketta’ into their coop every night.

Anyway, I’m picking up the birds this week, so I’ll let you know what we decide to name them, suggestions are welcome. Christening invitations will be in the post, so buy a hat.

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